To Begin..

So, this is my first official post to the world.  What to write?  I guess I could start from the beginning, but I think that might be a bit boring and generally when you meet a person for the first time, you don’t dive right into their personal lives.  That is, of course, you are facing a life threatening situation and by need you and another person are forced to divulge your lives on the other.  But, seeing that is not the situation, I will for the time being, spare you intimate details of my life.  To begin, I am a twenty-something girl living in New York, obviously.  I moved here to pursue acting, and yes, I can see you rolling your eyes.  I think everyone and their mother moves to New York to pursue acting, singing, dancing, or some kind of artistic genre.  But, lets face it, where else is so perfect for artistic expression?  You can be yourself, your whole self, and be completely satisfied that you are in a place which welcomes individuality and challenges you to re-create yourself everyday.  I’ve never seen a place that houses so many different kinds of people and culture, whether good or bad, creative or not, suit or bum.  It’s quite amazing really, to be able to turn a corner and feel as if you entered into another world, where anything is possible and where the people are infinitely different from one to the other.  And whether you hate them or love them, you cannot deny them.  They are what makes this city, what keeps it thriving, and what keeps it exciting.  You never know who you are going to meet and what the day will bring you, where you’ll end up and what might happen next week.  You cannot deny its appeal.  But, back to what I was saying.  A warning, I go off in tangents, if it’s not your thing, then just stop reading now.  So, yeah, I came to NY to be a famous actor, not actress.  If you’re a woman, you’ll understand why I say this.  I went to a great school (AMDA) which taught me more than I could of ever thought there could be to learn about acting and which readied me as much as it could for an actor’s life.  But, now that I look back on it, I don’t think it could’ve prepared me for what was going to happen after I graduated.  It was two years.  Two years of intense concentration, two years of day to day, back to back classes and rehearsals and of constant supervision.  People who told you this action was right, that one was wrong, why it was important to know your character as if they were yourself and why it was necessary to know your text backwards and forwards.  And then nothing.  Goodbye, have a nice life, good luck, go kick some ass.  I mean, I knew a career wasn’t going to be handed to me on a silver platter and I knew that there was going to be disappointments and let-downs, but I wasn’t at all prepared for what the real world was going to like.  A real life, real responsibilities, and a real, well, I don’t know if there is really a better phrase that I can think of to describe it, but a real “young-life crisis.”  The realization that you’re not a teen anymore and that time doesn’t stand still as it did when you were in high school, when all you wanted was to get out.  The realization that you’re in your twenties, how many years away from thirty and that the light at the end of the tunnel is slowly getting brighter and brighter.  You begin to count the years that have gone by, the time you’ve lost by doing things that you never wanted to do, and the time lost by not doing the only thing the you ever wanted to do.  It’s enough to make you want to cry, to make you want sink down farther into a depression, to block out the light, or for me, to get really pissed.


About Grlfashionista

This blog is about my life in the city. It's about the everyday, the mundane, but then also my dreams and struggles. Hopefully, my own experiences not only entertain you, but also help you. Enjoy! View all posts by Grlfashionista

One response to “To Begin..

  • Pitts

    As another twenty something year old girl who struggled with the same “spinning your wheels motion”, I can completely relate! Use that anger (very acting coach of me) and let it motivate you for change. No better day than today (yeah RENT!) to take control of your life and put it right back in the place that you always dreamt it would be. Carpe diem.

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